GRANDFATHER KNOWS BEST?

Yesterday Sunny and Bum left for Hawaii after Sunny stayed with us for over a month…we had a great time and we’re going to really miss her…because the airlines won’t let kids under fourteen fly without a parent or guardian Bum volunteered to fly back with her…( a tuff job someone has to do)…they flew out of Oakland airport, the only airport except San Diego that flies directly to Hilo…we had another good occasion to visit Debby and Leesa in the Bay Area for a few days…

While she stayed with us, and on a few occasions while watching HER favorite TV shows, she posed interesting questions totally out of the blue:

One night we were watching ‘So You Think you can Dance’, or whatever it’s called, one of Sunny’s favorite shows…the contestants were voted down to eight remaining…as the show developed votes were tabulated eliminating two dancers, but we didn’t know which two…when the first (African American) girl did her number Bum and I thought she was awful…when a second (African American) girl did her dance we again thought she should be removed too…
out of nowhere she asked us both why we didn’t like ‘Brown’ people! A word she uses…we both told her we didn’t like them because their dancing was not up to par and we didn’t vote them out because they were ‘Brown’…not sure she believed us but we didn’t want to get into long discussions…we would not have won…she is a debating queen…never loses…

Sunny and I were watching Hanna Montana one afternoon; and again out of nowhere she asked:
“Papa, were you a nerd when you were little?” I should have answered “Probably not” and she would have bought it, but instead I said “No and why do you ask?” and she replied: “because you look like one now”.

MAMMA MIA

Last weekend I saw Mamma Mia, the movie…I’d heard it was a chick-flick and was hesitant to go…but I had little else going on and went with Donas and Sunny…not too many young men in the theater, mainly older gentlemen like myself with their dates...

The opening scene had three young women in bikinis swimming in shallow water on the beach…so then I thought it might just BE a good movie…until they started walking out of the water and one of them broke out in a SONG! I said to myself “I KNEW IT” and thought I should have brought a bottle of Vodka...so I went to buy some popcorn, chocolate and drinks…($20!) when I came back a different scene was going on with people actually not singing at each other but talking…freaking amazing to hear people talking in a musical comedy…

Long story short, it caught my attention and from that point forward I totally enjoyed the entire movie…I was not an ABBA fan back when even though I loved hearing "Dancing Queen", the theme song playing throughout the movie...I really loved the movie and could have stayed and watched it again…

We were sitting up in the last row and as we were walking down a couple of older gents were letting us pass...I (semi-jokingly) said to them "I'm coming back tomorrow to see it again"...the guy said to his friend "Hey, do you want to come back tomorrow and see it again...he said "Why not?"

What's happening to me?

It ain’t just about blowing smoke…

It’s impossible to find a better smoke than cigars from Havana…The best cigars in the world, hands down, come from Cuba…
The Havana…cigar of connoisseurs…

As soon as we landed in Puerto Rico on our way to our Caribbean cruise
my buddies and I each bought a box of fifty Cuban cigars so we could smoke some playing golf in the islands, and have plenty left for future golf in the California… we knew we weren’t allowed to bring them back the States but thought we’d worry about that when the time came…

When the island hopping was over and almost back to Puerto Rico, the cruise director said to not even try to smuggle cigars out of Puerto Rico …getting caught called for a search of all your luggage, a fine and confiscation of the cigars…we de-shipped the ship and were instructed to put our suitcases at a certain place on the docks…the three border guys looked big, grumpy, kind of chunky and scary…they were all smoking eight inch long stogies…(I wonder where their cigars came from?) …they asked the custom-ary questions, I didn’t look at them in the eye much because I felt like I had that look in my eyes…I thank God every day for Donas who starts long conversations with everyone she meets…these guys had had enough… they talked in Spanish to themselves for a few seconds, then let us thru…

Back at the hotel I laughingly told Donas that earlier I’d put about 45 cigars in the bottom of the gigantic purse she carried around all the time in which were T-shirts from every island we visited…she picked the bag up and repeatedly bounced it on the floor…up and down, up and down…she can be hilarious at times…a few of the savory stogies got crunched up but the rest lived on to future golf outings…my buddies had them hidden somewhere but we never talked about it when our wives were within hearing distance…

SHOW ME THE MONKEY...

One of the current books I'm reading is called "Downhill Lies", a true golf story by Carl Hiaasen in which he kept a log of his return to playing golf after not playing for thirty years...very funny if you're a golfer...
one of Carl's golf adventures took him to a course in Florida that had monkeys in the trees...

Not that I didn't have as much fun on a Caribbean Cruise with two other couples long ago but the story reminded me of a game the three of us played on Barbados...yes, we always bring our clubs on vacations...

We had planned all along to play a few rounds on this trip...we flew from LAX to Miami to Puerto Rico, stayed a few days visiting this lovely island and, of course, played golf at Chi Chi Rodriguez's home course...if you don't know Chi Chi is ask an older friend...

The ship's concierge booked Tee times for us and we were driven to the course in a taxi...the driver must have been trained in New York City because he drove the twenty-five miles in about fifteen minutes...
the course was built within a bamboo jungle with holes cut out here and there...the weather was warm and we played six or seven holes happily and enjoying every swing...well almost...

We were then hitting drives on a short par 4 and as we approached the green we saw a bunch of monkeys on the right edge about four or five feet from the dark bamboo jungle. From far they looked about three or four feet high and orangutan-ish. They were just standing there on the right side of the green as if waiting for us to hit our balls on the green...there were about a dozen of them there looking at us...like, what the hell??? It was like a group of grumpy monkeys with a vengeance...Pretty sure we saw Beavis and Butt-monkey in the group...it reminded me of The Legend of Sleepy Monkey, Monkeys in the Mist...were they the last of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Monkeys? Perhaps the Monkeys of Wrath? The Good, the Bad and the Monkeys? The Monkeys that Time Forgot?

So what did we do? Took a quick left turn, gave ourselves pars on the hole and ran like hell...

p.s. If I was a good writer like Julie I'd write a book and call it:
"Things to do in Barbados when you're a Monkey"

WARDROBE DECISIONS

For years it wasn't hard to notice my daughters bickering, OK, semi-bickering, every morning as they fought, OK, semi-fought, over what clothes to wear to school each day, much like what regular folks dressing for work each day must say to themselves…

Searching for the correct right bad word at that crucial moment is tough…some may say SOB which is not as bad as the first correct right bad word…whatever…

But I’ve had it made for years and years; I've always had, and still do, four or five beige Dockers in the closet to wear to work most days and I don’t have to ponder what color pants I should wear…OK, they’re slightly different tones of beige but guys have a hard time with fancy names like tope and khaki or even how to spell them...

I pick out one of dozens of golf shirts hanging in my closet and I match perfectly…in the winter I wear long sleeved shirts that match the Dockers …life is sweet…

I have a few pants (not beige) that I wear only when my spouse tells me I am a boring dresser…I heard beige is back in style...earth tones, yeah, whatever…

Hands Free...my foot

Last week I posted a blog on hands-free cell phones...they're not that great...
since I've had it I've received half a dozen calls and the device sucks because it's hard to hear...
I haven't made any phone calls on it...instead, if I have to make a call I use the speaker button on my cell, put it in the cup holder next to me and talk away...talking and driving doesn't mix for me... It's a pain in the 'foot'...
People who see me think I'm talking to myself...I'm either talking to myself or singing...

Nice, HUH?

My modus operandi

When I need to blog something and I have zero ideas I’ll eat something…

It doesn’t help to get ideas but it passes the time…

So, I trek over to the office refrigerator, kick it open and look for a Hershey Bar I hid there last week…it’s right where I put it and I take it back to my desk…

AHH, it’s impossible to get upset about not blogging when you’re eating chocolate…

But tomorrow? Chocolate or blog???

Safer? Can you hear me?

Very useful for Moms and Dads...the fisherman must have more important thing to do than fish.

I drive a lot and because it's the law I bought a Blue Tooth speaker phone over the weekend...
But I have to agree with KFI's Ken and John who researched how much these devises save lives...
THEY DON'T...the single most thing that causes accidents is TALKING on the phone which causes our brains to pay 40% less attention to the road...listen to them on KFI 640, they've been talking about it for days...
The law says it's OK to dial your cell while driving...just dialing, at least on my phone, takes my eyes off the road...even before I bought this 'gadget' I hardly called anyone while driving...but at least now I can receive calls and answer by tapping a button...

The one I bought attaches with a clip to the sun visor and when it rings I tap it and start talking...