NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD...

It's said that only 11% of us over 68 use text messaging and

old age begins at 68' according to every one...and I am one of the 11 %...

Julie, Gina and Allison taught me how and I've been doing it for quite a while; my clients text me too and I think it beats calling...

I remember my first text was to my grandson Thatcher and I wrote: "How are ya?" Had it been last week I may have written How R U? But I knew no shortcuts back then...

He answered back:"Who is this?" instead of DIKY (do I know you?) he was new at it too...

These days I rarely use shortcuts and I'd rather write out messages...it's not worth it to me to save a few seconds of time capitalizing, punctuating and writing for real...

G2G

GB

LOOKING BEHIND

Places, names and settings are not simply stories learned as a child…

In adulthood we think we know all there is to know about our parents and other family members…

I’m finding there is plenty to learn about people who were once close to us…

Our greatest asset as human beings may be revealed by simply looking behind us.

It wasn’t a dark and stormy night but early morning and snowing lightly while my sister and I waited in a car outside a Montreal hospital for my brother’s birth…parking lots hadn’t been necessary back then so our car was parked on the street a block away from the hospital…it may have been parked closer but things always appear bigger when you’re a child, don't you think?… we were left in the car waiting for signs from Dad who would have had one or two fingers up on his way back from the birth…while pregnant mom was so large the doctor wasn’t sure if she would deliver twins or not…no ultra sound yet but you think maybe a stethoscope could determine one or two heartbeats?…and I wonder what deal Dad made with this doctor who allowed him to be in the delivery room…and I don’t recall how long we stayed alone in the car that morning…I often wish I could remember more about that day…I don’t recall the drive back home or if Sis and I went to school that morning or if my Dad stayed home or went to work…looking behind it was my memory failure beginning to set in.

Dad made a good living selling cigars, cigarettes and candy, and he had a sideline,… he ‘rented’ pin ball machines and one armed bandits to his regular customer-shop-owners’ to put in back of their stores or basements…A secret knock to get in?…but I’ll never forget going with him a few times a week to empty the coins in the machines and dad slipping me handfuls of dimes, nickels and quarters… afterwards he gave the shop owners’ their cut and Dad pocketed the rest…petty theft became my weekly allowance…I went to confession almost every week telling the priest about my allowance that I felt semi-guilty about…the priest usually gave me a penance of the customary five Hail Mary’s and Glory Be’s, after which I’d slip a buck or two in coins loudly in the poor box to be sure he’d hear the drop… Looking behind taught me a few things I don’t do anymore.

LOOKING BEHIND II

I wish I knew more of dad’s affiliation with a four or five Italian guys who often ate at our house, sometimes late at night…I knew these ‘uncles’ quite well but never knew what they did for a living…my Mom could prepare a spaghetti dinner faster than I could recite penance…it was the duty of a French Canadian wife according to Italian men…

Later on when my daughters were older they would talk to their Nana about such treatment by husbands but Nana never changed her ways…“she was born to serve” she always said, no doubt looking back…

Going to the cemetery every Sunday morning was a routine…after Mass we’d jump in the Buick and head off to Mount Royal Cemetery meeting our uncles and aunts to visit dead relatives…relatives in the ground watched us pray and eat lunches packed with pepperoni, provolone and Greek olives soaked in olive oil with sprinkles of cayenne pepper, Dad had a habit of passing out his loose change to my cousins…only now do I wonder if the money came out of his portion of the slot machine pickings or if he’d stolen my stash…

After kneeling and saying a few prayers and finishing our picnic food we would roam the cemetery with our cousins admiring tombstones, some ten feet high and as wide, some scary with ornate ornamental iron gates, gargoyles and cherubs sitting on the roofs and hanging from every corner…it may have been the fashion in those days made by the survivors of those dead people who thought they had a lot of class, or money, even if the deceased couldn't take it to Heaven, Hell, Limbo or Purgatory …Catholics were thought they’d be sent to one of these places if they died with sins on their souls…this rule left no one going straight to Heaven…if you went to Purgatory it would mean Heaven would be attained after years of ‘burning’ there…an un-baptized person’s soul would be banished to Limbo to stay there forever…later the Catholic Church abolished Purgatory and Limbo… I often wonder if the ones who died and spent time in Limbo or Purgatory, before the Catholic rules abolished them, ever made it out of wherever they were…looking behind can be spooky.

IT'S DIABOLICAL I TELL YA

(Portions by Wlm. Thomas, Toronto, Canada)

A good walk spoiled...Mark Twain

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did that in one afternoon on the golf course... Hank Aaron

When I play golf there's no opponents to foul, no teammates to blame...it's me against my worst enemy...my ego...me

My advice to golfers, quit...quit immediately...cold turkey...there's a chaise lounge under a shade tree somewhere with a large drink near a great book within your reach...

If you can't give it up there's hopefully a golf patch coming out soon that fits behind the ear...

I've booked a tee-time for the day after I expire...because playing golf after I'm dead is marginally better than going straight to hell...

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I KNEW EVERYTHING

Green Roofs for Healthy Cities, (GRHC) the North American green roof industry association,is pleased to announce that the City of Toronto passed a new green roof by-law with overwhelming support yesterday. The green roof by-law consists of a green roof construction standard and a mandatory requirement for green roofs on all classes of new buildings.