IT'S A GREAT LIFE...

I've started a new job this week...well, not a job really...I should say I've got a new fun thing to do that's brought back the good old semi-olden days...
Now that Sarah and her family are moving back from Hawaii they are staying with us and Sunny's enrolled at the same elementary school almost most of our kids attended...It's around the corner from our old house and my new job is to pick her up after school...
I never thought having young ones, not only Sunny, but her brother living with us could be so delightful...Lil Eli is two and a half...he watches Dora and her friends in our bedroom...
Now I get to watch Hanna and her friends with Sunny every night, especially now that the World Series are over...we don't have to fight over what to watch...I seem to have lost most those battles but that's alright...Julie and I texted our way thru the baseball playoffs and kept me posted on the scores...with replays on I'd ask Sarah for a time-out and watch a home run or whatever with a quick reminder that Hanna was up to something and switch back to her show...

P.S. Bum hasn't been able to pick Sunny up as Sarah borrows her car to go to work and gets home too late...

What a great life I have...

Story of a challenged senior:

Sent to me by my best old friend...
I just had to get this one out there...
Thanks Dann

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800
employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures
and communicated with Face book and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face book, so my seven
kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate
with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as
Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grand kids hooked me up for Tweeter,
Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix
and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other
program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of
everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am
not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf
bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I
get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I
keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone
I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line
at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards
was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I
got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dashboard, but the lady
inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would
think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me.
She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the
next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name
of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as
Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still
haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run
around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty
laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me
up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle
on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I
check out just knocks me for a loop.
I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or
Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual.." Then it's
their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES

3-1/2 year old Sid talking to his cousin Elijah, 2-1/2 years old on the phone a day or so ago...


Sid asks:"What are you gonna be for Halloween?"

Elijah answers him with about a minute of talking, then asks if he could speak to his grandma Bum and asks:" Hi Bum, can you tell me what he just said?"

'I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS' on Yahoo today.......

Welcome to The Mud Puppy Do It Yourself Dog Wash And Spa! We are committed to providing high quality equipment and products to help you maintain a happy healthy pet. We provide the industries best shampoos, conditioners, professional grooming tubs, and dryers. We also carry medicated and specialty shampoos. You can even treat your dog to a blueberry facial. We carry the finest foods for your pet including Nature's Variety and Free Range Chews. We carry brushes and other grooming supplies as well.

Our philosophy is to provide a quality service at an affordable price. We feel we have accomplished that with our top of the line professional grooming tubs, high quality shampoos, and professional service.

The days of sore backs from leaning over the tub and the never ending clean up process are over. Our tubs keep your dog at waist height, the restraint collar keeps them safe and in place, and we clean up after you. Each tub is cleaned and disinfected after each use.

TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T GARDEN

All sorts of reasons are given for gardening…for relaxation, growing food, decorating your home with flowers… some are even psychological like attracting birds and fragrance all around you…very nice…

But none are ever given for why you shouldn't garden, and you deserve to know before you begin this hazardous activity:

1. Plants die… no matter how hard you try or how great your gardening skills the end results will be the same.

2. Plants grow…growing plants requires water, fertilizer and pruning…the bigger the plants grow the more work…soon you’ll have no time for anything else…is your life so worthless?

3. Plants don’t stop at one…it’s the nature of plants to make more of themselves…before you know it every square inch of your garden will be covered with baby plants…the happy life you once had is over.

4. Plants attract animals…the minute a plant pops out of the ground some animal will find it…some will eat it while others will just trample or pee on it.

5. Gardens get noticed…it begins with an innocent compliment by your neighbors about how nice your garden grows…but don’t be fooled…the complement is a lie to distract you from what they really think, that your garden looks like crap and pretty soon you’ll hear from your association garden police saying it doesn’t meet the neighborhood code and you must weed it and have it done before midnight or face eviction.

6. Plants and gardens are imperfect and so are you…since no plant is perfect reaching perfection is physically impossible…you will always feel inadequate and worthless...there are plenty of other things in life that make you feel this way, so why add one more.

7. Gardens attract thieves and lowlifes…your garden, though, may be so close to perfection that it attracts the wrong kind of people. They will steal your plants and veggies…they will steal your ideas…and then they will steal all of your free time by asking you to help make them a garden just like yours.

8. Gardening involves the use of sharp objects…though gardening is usually described as a gentle pastime it is not quite so…more often it’s a brutal affair involving lots of cutting, clearing, thrashing, sawing, tilling and killing…and then there’s rototillers.

9. Gardening encourages profanity…at best gardening is a losing proposition…you spend a lot of time in the hot sun breaking your back and your fingernails, then cultivating, weeding and watering your little darlings only to find them ravaged by snails…though gardeners often claim to be closer to God their words sometimes are not fit for God’s ears…

10. Gardening causes insanity…ask any gardener: once you start gardening you never want to stop…performing an activity over and over again that always brings the same result, pain and suffering, is an unmistakable sign of insanity.

100 YEAR OLD BABIES

New research shows that most babies born in rich countries, USA , will eventually make it to their 100^th birthday…since the 20^th century people in developed countries are living three decades longer than in the past, and the trend shows little sign of slowing down.

While illnesses affecting the elderly like heart disease, cancer and diabetes are rising medical advances are making it possible for them to remain active longer…

And the obesity epidemic complicates matters…

The point is for youngsters, and you know who you and they are, should eat properly, exercise, go to college, marry well if so inclined, and plan on getting very old…OH, and save money to take care of yourselves when Medicare is abandoned soon.

DOWN THE TUBE

The next top ten…

During TV summer re-run season we watched some of the following programs once or twice and then never again…

Some of these programs should have or may have already been canceled…

1. Deal or no deal…drove me nuts with contestants going for the big bucks and failing…pure greed is what is was and too sad to watch…

2. Don’t Forget the Lyrics…there’s nothing worse than people trying to sing when they can’t carry a tune…

3. According to Jim…not a program a young husband should watch…not too exciting watching idiot men talking down to their wives…

4. Are you smarter than a 5^th grader…very annoying…too difficult for me…?

5. King of the Hill…I don’t know anyone who watches this one…I may have too low an IQ to understand…and a pain to watch for more than two minutes…

6. Lost…need I explain how they lost my viewing beginning the second year? Year two left me wondering what happened to the kidnapped kid…too many new people; how many passengers did that plane carry?

7. Desperate Housewives…very similar to Lost above…too many wives, to many boyfriends, and I liked to go to bed at 9:00 PM on Sunday nights…

8. Parks and Recreation…this one looked like it promised good stuff semi-related to my business but failed miserably…not funny…much more fun to read instead…

9. Prison Break…the first episode should have been the last…I just didn’t get how they could make a series out of a prison break…

10. Ugly Betty…why didn’t this lovely girl quit after she read the script…the title of the show and the show were dumb…