IT STARTED WITH A DI LALLO BURGER FEST...

at our home last night and then Julie’s blog this morning…

Julie emailed me wondering if I still lived in Montreal and had not moved to California would I be working at Di Lallo Burgers…

I’ve pondered this thing all day…

My uncle Louis had six sons and I could not have become a partner in his Di Lallo Burger gold mine empire…I like to call my own shots...

I may have gone to Loyola University, run by Jesuits, become a priest…they are the order that ‘ran’ the Inquisition and that sounds right up my alley…upon reaching high rank I may have gotten rid of French women…sent them back to France...

Or I may have taken my Dad’s lowly Mafia job and become a real Mafia guy running a gambling casino.

I may have found a lovely Indian princess, an Indian chief’s daughter, become blood brothers with the chief and gone on to become a professional wrestler with a loin cloth and feathers. I can just imagine entering the ring with my little papooses in a row, my Indian brave sons whooping away and dancing with their little axes and spears and my lovely fiancé beating on her tom-tom…

Would have been the good life!

But I know with my entrepreneurial talents I would have taken my show on the road to Las Vegas, then to Indian casinos in California, where I would meet Mom’s sister Kathy, then been introduced to Mom, given my Indian family a few mil to travel back to Canada, married Mom, had five daughters and eight grandchildren and lived happily ever after…

until the Di Lallo Burger Fest last night!

GRANDPAS ARE NOT ALWAYS FUN PEOPLE

I could be a frustrated grandfather but I don't think so…OK, well maybe just a wee bit…but I don’t criticize the things my grand children do, like museum trips, traveling, camping, surfing or visiting their grandparents.

But sometimes I am bothered by birthday parties to Chuckie Cheese’s or to play video games at the mall as well as trips to amusement parks and the time they watch TV. Not all the precious eight but ones who can read...not the angelic really young ones…no, not them…

And for sure not the older ones who work and have little time to have fun, well, maybe they have fun but don’t tell me what they do, thankfully…

In my opinion this makes them spoiled, unappreciative and materialistic…

But I could probably influence my grand kids more by not watching cartoons or Hanna Montana when they stay with us…Hanna and those twin boys are fun to watch…I hardly ever watch those shows alone…

I’ve finally discovered I would do better by sharing my world with them and not criticizing them. I don’t think I fall short when we go swimming or shopping at the mall… and they haven’t complained yet… at least not to me…I’d like to have more home birthday parties with cake, ice cream and presents…

God did a good thing when he invented grand kids and Grandmas…

VATICAN-THE BOARD GAME / VATICANOPOLY

I love Catholic stuff and poking fun at the Pope, priests, nuns and the Vatican…I found this on line during my many one-hour breaks the other day...

I read that the game is a hybrid of Monopoly, Risk and Clue; the only one I’ve played is Monopoly...The players have pieces resembling cardinals and other clergy types… During the course of this game the players roll the dice, pick up cards that may have you take a stand on theological and moral issues like saints, mortal and venial sins, and maybe the inquisition…now there’s a good topic...I could really do a number on this one...is rolling dice a sin?

The race begins as soon as the previous pope croaks (no idea what this means) …the new Pope dies when his Popemobile overturns after being hit by a fruit truck. The player gets 10 points…I imagine that the low score wins…

If you pass GO I don't know what happens…it’s probably a sin and you get more points...

Players’ goals are to climb the spiritual perfection ladder while trying to avoid sins such as gluttony…but a player may get a card, like in Monopoly, to attend a Papal banquet where he has to eat three helpings of cannelloni…that player gets 10 points… this game could make me hungry…

Goal of the game? To get from Cardinal to Pope …six to seven players fighting it out like dragons and demons…I'd toss in a bottle of wine for the loser or winner...Chianti...

Available on-line for $39.95 US

I’m tempted to buy one…I could write it off as a Church donation…

What I’m not doing this summer…

At the beginning of each month we're mailed the City of Lake Forest ‘Senior’ Scene' magazine...senior citizenship is a curse...

Over the weekend after watching golf and baseball and reading more of my book I opened up this mailer…On the cover I found an index of contents including:

· In the summer, heat waves can strike anytime…Good to know

· The Senior Clubhouse will remain open until 4:00 PM every day…what are we supposed to do in the evening?

· It’s important to stay hydrated…beer only on the golf course

· Cooling down measures without alcoholic beverages…bummer

Two events caught my eye:

A bus trip to the Sawdust Festival and a Dana Point walking trip…

A few that were not my style…

A Foothill Ranch bus trip to shop at Target, Walmart and the food court…I try to stay away from those places

The bagels and bingo games once a week… I love bagels, bingo sucks

Weekly scrabble games… too many people who can’t spell

Name that tune days…right! …

Bocce ball tournaments…I lost my bocce balls years ago

Coupon swap Mondays… one of my favorites...ya right

Cold box lunch days…I can stay home for this one, I like sandwiches with

lotsa meat, olive oil, sardines, tomatoes and lettuce and I eat them over the sink…

Movie days…I’d rather rent movies and watch them in my shorts…not a pretty sight

Digital scrap booking days…right-on, I have hundreds and hundreds of slides I have to install on computer first

Happy Trails Western BBQ night…I hate old cowgirls

Bunco or bust…you'll never catch me bunco-ing

AARP driver safety day… need this one but the ones who do won’t go…

Crafts-build a garden birdhouse…already have enough bird poop on the front porch

MTCO

Dang it...

I got hung up today on text messaging short cuts that reminded me of one of my all time favorite proverbs or aphorisms...

This one I've used over and over again all my adult life making it adaptable to life's situations...

"Measure twice, cut once"

(one foot is short, one inch is long)

NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD...

It's said that only 11% of us over 68 use text messaging and

old age begins at 68' according to every one...and I am one of the 11 %...

Julie, Gina and Allison taught me how and I've been doing it for quite a while; my clients text me too and I think it beats calling...

I remember my first text was to my grandson Thatcher and I wrote: "How are ya?" Had it been last week I may have written How R U? But I knew no shortcuts back then...

He answered back:"Who is this?" instead of DIKY (do I know you?) he was new at it too...

These days I rarely use shortcuts and I'd rather write out messages...it's not worth it to me to save a few seconds of time capitalizing, punctuating and writing for real...

G2G

GB

LOOKING BEHIND

Places, names and settings are not simply stories learned as a child…

In adulthood we think we know all there is to know about our parents and other family members…

I’m finding there is plenty to learn about people who were once close to us…

Our greatest asset as human beings may be revealed by simply looking behind us.

It wasn’t a dark and stormy night but early morning and snowing lightly while my sister and I waited in a car outside a Montreal hospital for my brother’s birth…parking lots hadn’t been necessary back then so our car was parked on the street a block away from the hospital…it may have been parked closer but things always appear bigger when you’re a child, don't you think?… we were left in the car waiting for signs from Dad who would have had one or two fingers up on his way back from the birth…while pregnant mom was so large the doctor wasn’t sure if she would deliver twins or not…no ultra sound yet but you think maybe a stethoscope could determine one or two heartbeats?…and I wonder what deal Dad made with this doctor who allowed him to be in the delivery room…and I don’t recall how long we stayed alone in the car that morning…I often wish I could remember more about that day…I don’t recall the drive back home or if Sis and I went to school that morning or if my Dad stayed home or went to work…looking behind it was my memory failure beginning to set in.

Dad made a good living selling cigars, cigarettes and candy, and he had a sideline,… he ‘rented’ pin ball machines and one armed bandits to his regular customer-shop-owners’ to put in back of their stores or basements…A secret knock to get in?…but I’ll never forget going with him a few times a week to empty the coins in the machines and dad slipping me handfuls of dimes, nickels and quarters… afterwards he gave the shop owners’ their cut and Dad pocketed the rest…petty theft became my weekly allowance…I went to confession almost every week telling the priest about my allowance that I felt semi-guilty about…the priest usually gave me a penance of the customary five Hail Mary’s and Glory Be’s, after which I’d slip a buck or two in coins loudly in the poor box to be sure he’d hear the drop… Looking behind taught me a few things I don’t do anymore.