DRESS CODE

Many of us over 40, OK, over 50, OK, whatever, are quite confused about how we should present ourselves in public. We're unsure about the kind of image we're projecting and whether or not we're correct trying to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

• A nose ring and bifocals
• Spiked hair and bald spots
• A pierced tongue and dentures
• Miniskirts and support hose
• Ankle bracelets and corn pads
• Speedo's and cellulite
• A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
• Bikini and liver spots
• Midriff shirts and midriff bulge
• Thongs and Depends
• Inline skates and a walker